What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
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