I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
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