If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
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