Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Cell phones are a static symbol.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
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