How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
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