After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
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