Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
All stereos are so typical.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
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