I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
All stereos are so typical.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
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