What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
Go to BabaMail
