Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
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