How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
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