In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
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