If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
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