How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
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