Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
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