"You bake me crazy."
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
I have bean
thinking about you.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
I scored when I met you.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
"I'm nuts about you."
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
"Yoda one for me."
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
We make a great pear
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
I have bean thinking about you.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
Some bunny loves you.
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