What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
I cannoli be happy
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
You octopi my thoughts.
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
I like you sow much.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
You're my purr-son.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
You met all of my koala-fications
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
You’re right up my alley.
I always have a ball with you.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
I whale always love you.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
when I’m with you.
Your love will always be up to par.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
"I'm nuts about you."
"Aloe you vera much."
You make miso happy.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
I love you berry much.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
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