Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
You're one in a melon.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
"I wood never leaf you."
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
"Aloe you vera much."
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
I love you deerly.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
We are mint to be.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
I love you berry much.
I have bean thinking about you.
You met all of my koala-fications
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
"Yoda one for me."
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
Pugs and kisses.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
You’re my #1 pick.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
I always have a souper time with you.
when I’m with you.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I like you sow much.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
I’m soy
into you.
We make a great pear
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
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