What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Go to BabaMail
