Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
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