What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Go to BabaMail
