Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
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