Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
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