My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
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