My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
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