What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
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