Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
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