I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
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