I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Go to BabaMail
