I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
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