Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
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