What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
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