Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
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