Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
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