What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
I think a couch can endure many things, but if you take off its cushions, it would make it uncomfortable.
I tried to build myself an armchair, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it too wide.
So near, and yet sofa
I stubbed my toe onto a piece of furniture. C-ouch!
How many drum sets can you store on a sofa?
One per cushion
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
A coworker said, "Oh my gosh there's a mouse on your desk!"
To which, I replied "I know! And it's not working!"
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
What’s Irish and stays outside all year?
Patty O’Furniture
I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein's theories but it was on the top shelf...
It's information that's way over my head.
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
Nothing really mattress.
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