What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
How many drum sets can you store on a sofa?
One per cushion
If you're wondering what to donate to a soup kitchen...
...a dining set would be chair-i-table
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
What do you call a chair in a suit?
A tuxSEATo
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
I said to my doctor, "I usually sit on the computer 12 hours a day...is that bad?"
He replied, "That can't be too comfortable. Try a chair!"
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
I was going to replace the seats at my bar
But... I just can't look at another stool sample
I tried to build myself an armchair, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it too wide.
So near, and yet sofa
What did the flirty coat say to the jacket?
"Do you hang here often?"
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
I woke up in the middle of the night and found all the blankets on my bed were missing.
I was scared sheetless.
What did the first plate say to the second plate?
"Dinner's on me!"
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
"Put me in coach."
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
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