Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
I tried to build myself an armchair, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it too wide.
So near, and yet sofa
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
I said to my doctor, "I usually sit on the computer 12 hours a day...is that bad?"
He replied, "That can't be too comfortable. Try a chair!"
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
I stubbed my toe onto a piece of furniture. C-ouch!
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
What did the first plate say to the second plate?
"Dinner's on me!"
I came home to find many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
My chair finally broke down yesterday.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
"Put me in coach."
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
My chair is missing an arm and a leg.
That doesn't sit well with me.
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs.
Number 3 will shock you
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table.
I totally nailed it.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Go to BabaMail
