Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
It's lit.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web."
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
What do you call a Rabbi who works with solvents?
An acidic Jew.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
What did the pig say on a hot summer’s day?
I’m bacon!
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
Teaching babies to walk is hard, but you just have take it one step at a time.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
“What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.”
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Go to BabaMail
