Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
My realtor sold me a two-story house.
One story before the offer, another story after the offer.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
Cowboys don’t roll joints.
They tumble weed.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift.
Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
Why d‌‌oes N‌‌orth K‌‌orea e‌‌xcel a‌‌t d‌‌rawing s‌‌traight l‌‌ines?
Because t‌‌hey h‌‌ave a‌‌ s‌‌upreme r‌‌uler.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
The painter did not want to sit idle because he knew that time white for no one.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
My last chess game went a bit medieval.
We both went for the castle.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Go to BabaMail
