How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
We’ll have a ball.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Say it ain’t snow.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
“Did you know that the Christmas tree trend started because people thought it would spruce things up a
bit?”
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
What dog particularly enjoys the sight of flowers on the ground? A spring-er spaniel.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
I’m so adjective, I verb noun.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
"I need to re-wine my life."
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
My children got their good looks from their mother.
I kept mine.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What do you call a parallelogram that's also your parent's mother?
A parallelogramma
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