Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
Seed between the lines.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
Why do people take an instant dislike to real estate agents?
To save time.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Where will you find an FBI sketch artist? In the bureau drawer.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
It takes one to snow one.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
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