What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
When dad died he left me his Subaru.
It was his final Legacy.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
A loyal warrior will rarely worry why we rule.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
What did the period say to the sentence? We better stop now!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
How does Santa capture photos? With his North Pole-oroid.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
Up to snow good.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Did you hear the joke about the roof? I doubt you’d get it. It’s over your head.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
I goat this.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
Go to BabaMail
