Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?...
You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Wife is frying a lot of mushrooms in a tiny pan.
Me: Doesn't look like you have mushroom left in there.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
Where's popcorn?
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
I keep telling my wife I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
You can donate blood to me anytime since you’re just my type.
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
Why did the cat get divorced?
He was a cheetah.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
Go to BabaMail
