I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
As he gobbled the cakes on his plate,
the greedy ape said as he ate,
the greener green grapes are,
the keener keen apes are
to gobble green grape cakes,
they're great!
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
You must be a geologist because you rock my world.
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.
Those were Goodyears.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
I feel tail great!
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
It was having window panes.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
Do truckers prefer houses with long-haul ways?
Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
No need to light a night-light on a light night like tonight.
I’ve always followed in my father’s footsteps until today.
He turned around and said, “STOP!”
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
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