Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
I came, I thaw, I conquered.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
What did the real estate agent say to the lady at the bar?
"Ma'am, is your name FHA loan? Because you have most certainly caught my interest."
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
Leave poetry to the prose.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
What’s Irish and stays outside all year?
Patty O’Furniture
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
Go to BabaMail
