Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
Two metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
Two friends were hanging out. One asks the other: "Hey, do you know about the famous detective that can't do bowel movements?"
The other friend replies: "No sh** Sherlock, of course I do!"
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Where will Kim Jong-un’s ashes be stored?
In a Kim Jong-urn
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
My moment in the sun.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
Go to BabaMail
