When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
It’s worth a shot.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
A cross-eyed teacher can't control his pupils.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
"I wood never leaf you."
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
My father and grandfather work for the DMV.
I come from a long line of long lines.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December.
There is a Santa clause.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
Why would a cow want to go to space? To see the Milky Way.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
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