Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. African, Zambian, Ethiopian, Bosnian, Nigerian, Angolan, Botswanian, Tanzanian, Saudi Arabian, Kuwaiti, Iranian, Iraqi, Pakistanian, Mongolian, Indian, Burman, Chinese, Cambodian, Laotian, Somalian, Yemen, Syrian, Israeli, Armenian, Philipino, Javan, Australian, Sri Lankan, Malaysian, Georgian, Taiwanese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Puerto Rican, Dominican Republican, Aruban, Jamacian, Cuban, Haitian, El Salvadorian, Guatamalan, Nicaraguan, Costa Rican, Panamanian, American, Canadian, Mexican, Argentinian, Bolivian, Peruvian, Columbian, Brazilian, Ecuadorian and a Venezuelan walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "Sorry. I cannot serve you without a Thai."
My cat kept jumping onto my desk.
I had to put him down.
You can donate blood to me anytime since you’re just my type.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Why did the King of Hearts marry the Queen of Hearts?
They were perfectly suited to each other.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What kind of Nurse can cast spells?
A Curse Practitioner.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
Hold on for deer life.
I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
Go to BabaMail
