Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
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