It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Can I be Candide with you?
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
French, French Revolution
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
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