What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
Bad puns are how eye roll.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
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