What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What does a drunkard's mouth and a shirt have in common?
They are both 100% cotton.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Go to BabaMail
