What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
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