A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
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