Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
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