Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Go to BabaMail
