Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
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