How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
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