Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
‪My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...‬
‪I hope this will not surface again‬
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
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