Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Go to BabaMail
