What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Car puns are really tiring
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
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