I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
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