I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
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