What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Car puns are really tiring
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
Go to BabaMail
