The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
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