When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
Car puns are really tiring
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
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